40 Days Lighter – Day 16: Take Another Look

Journals

And he said to his servant, “Go up now, look toward the sea.” And he went up and looked and said, “There is nothing.” And he said, “Go again,” seven times. 44 And at the seventh time he said, “Behold, a little cloud like a man’s hand is rising from the sea.” And he said, “Go up, say to Ahab, ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you.’”

1st Kings 18:43-44

Today was like New Year’s Day for me. No, there were no parties, no late night celebrations, and honestly, no one else was even aware that something special had taken place. Nonetheless, I felt like my clock reset, and I was granted the grace of a fresh start.

Today.

In all of my reflection, and introspection, I have been led to revisit old notes in my phone, journals, bible, laptop – basically everywhere – just not in sticky note form any more. It was too hard to keep organized. And as I perused through all of the ideas, thoughts, musings, book chapter titles, book chapters without a title, business and ministry ideas, I realized that over the years, I’ve abandoned golden opportunities because I couldn’t see their immediate feasibility, or in some cases, their value altogether.

Yet today, I felt inspired to take another look, with fresh eyes.

I have been sitting and wrestling with myself for quite some time now – months, maybe even a year. In spite of everything I’m doing now – being a wife, mother, professor, seminary student, leader at church, and the list goes on – I have had this growing, nagging, pulsating feeling that I am not maximizing the gifts I have been given, and that I am somehow neglecting part of the call on my life.

I’ve been praying for rain – crying, begging, pleading – for it to rain in my life, watering the seeds I’ve sown and help the younger plants in my life to grow. But I haven’t been expecting the rain – I haven’t been looking for it. I wrote the ideas down, prayed about them, and then left them to become mere ink blotches on pages of exquisitely covered journals gathering dust on my bookshelf. Yet I continued to pray for rain. 

So today, I decided, no – I was led by the Holy Spirit – to take another look. At all of it. 

And I’m pretty sure that I struck gold! I was able to spend time reorganizing my goals – short, mid and long term – in ways that more accurately reflect my values, the vision for our family, and where I believe God is calling us in ministry. I was able to strategize immediately actionable plans for my books and business – which I believe will be important tools for ministry.

And when it was all said and done, I felt like I walked into a whole new season.

So Happy New Year to me.

I want to encourage you – don’t give up on your dreams.

Sometimes all you need is to take another look!

 

 

 

 

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