As I spent some time in reflection, prayer and devotion this morning, I became painfully aware of how much time I have wasted in fear this past month alone, never mind this year. I decided to get honest with myself and God about what exactly I have been afraid of.
Afraid to rise.
Afraid to run.
Afraid to wait.
Afraid to win.
Afraid to speak.
Afraid to be silent.
Afraid to shine.
Afraid to stay in the dark.
Afraid of getting stuck in the past.
Afraid of moving into the future.
Afraid to fly.
Afraid to fall.
Afraid to try.
Afraid to trust.
That last one.
That last one is where I felt the lump form in my throat and I knew the tears were coming. That last one is the true cause of everything else on the list.
Even as I have encouraged others to pursue purpose relentlessly, I have found myself at times stuck in a loop of “I trust you Lord!” 🔁 “Can I trust you Lord?”.
I’ve been afraid to trust people – just waiting to be let down, left alone, rejected, abandoned. I’ve been afraid to trust myself with anything new – afraid that the moment the pressure became too much, I would fall back into my old habits, patterns, defenses, and everything I’ve been building would crumble.
Yet this morning, as I read Psalm 46, I found myself overwhelmed at verses 1 & 2, where the psalmist reminds us that:
1 – God is our place of protection, and our source of strength.
2 – God is with us.
3 – Even in moments where it seems like the rug has been pulled out from under our feet, if the ground we are standing on crumbles, if the very mountains themselves can’t hold up and fall into the sea, We. Have. No. Need. To. Fear.
My prayer as we prepare to close out 2018, and step into 2019, is that we will experience God-given courage. Courage to step boldly, step hard – making our mark, and step higher – setting our hearts on His will and not our own.
Don’t end this year in fear. Instead, feed your faith and place your trust in the God who holds the sun, moon and stars in place – knowing that He holds your life in His hands too!